Life challenges: Unmani, Loss and grief, Parts 1 and 2
Part 2: Loss and grief revisited |
(Part 1 to be found below)
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Unmani lost her husband and friend Robert suddenly in early 2018. In this second part of our conversation, she talks about how new life has arisen, interspersed by waves of grief; about the gift of love and how her teaching has changed as a result of this experience.
Below this recent facebook entry from 30 December 2018, you will find the video of our first conversation in 2017, as well as her bio.
Below this recent facebook entry from 30 December 2018, you will find the video of our first conversation in 2017, as well as her bio.
As the year 2018 draws to a close I look back at a year of so much grief and heartache, and also so much growth and heart-opening. On New Year's Eve last year, Robert and I watched the fireworks and he said 'I wonder what 2018 will bring? Last year there was a tsunami so who knows....' Well, without meaning to sound too dramatic, I feel like 2018 did bring a tsunami that drowned us, and an earthquake that rocked our world, while weirdly at the same time, nothing happened at all.
Even though it is almost a year since my love died, I still feel like I am reeling from it. In many ways I have slowly come back to my strength and mostly live with joy and passion in my life, and yet, in other ways I still feel I am drowning in endless pain. My heart still breaks everyday.
Robert was the love of my life (and I don't need to understand what that even means), and that will never change, even when time passes or if I love another. He is always with me. Things he said, jokes we laughed at, his deep wisdom, his warm hugs... But more than that, the love that was never limited to his beautiful body... This hasn't changed and never will.
We were both lost in this world together. Like two innocent children we held hands and walked into this life not knowing anything. And together we blossomed and flowered. This doesn't stop now... This flowering goes on and on...
Thank you my friend.
Part 1: Loss and grief
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Unmani lost her beloved husband and friend Robert very suddenly in early January 2018. She has been sharing her experience on facebook very movingly since then. From one of her posts:
Occasionally, someone suggests that grief is all just a 'story' or 'in the mind', or that the whole thing is not 'real' anyway. ... Sometimes I have been told that I should stop 'identifying' with with it, and then I will know peace. But what they fail to see is that when you know your true identity to be Peace itself, then there is nothing to lose by diving deep into the apparently 'unreal story' and experiencing this human experience fully without holding back. I can even play at 'identifying', when I know my true identity. And sometimes temporarily playing one of these 'unreal identities' seems to even support the very physical process of grieving. In this play of humanness, it is very natural to be attached to the man that you love. In this play of humanness it is natural to feel the ripping apart and heartbreak when he dies suddenly. In this play of humanness there are times that are certainly not peaceful. But in this play of humanness, I am never looking for, or expecting to find, true Peace, because that is what I am already.
About Unmani
Unmani is originally from the UK, but has lived a nomadic life in many countries around the world from the age of 18. Since she was a child, Unmani never identified with the role she seemed to be playing as a person living a life. However, she felt very lost and alone in a world that everyone else seemed to take so seriously. Unmani's main inspiration has come from Osho and Dolano. After years of searching to find a way out of pain, she met the German Zen master, Dolano in India. With her, Unmani recognized that what she had been searching for had always been right here. She woke up to the dream, time stopped and the search ended. Unmani began holding meetings and retreats around the world 3 years later She is the author of two books ‘I am Life itself’ and ‘Die to Love’ and is now writing a third book. www.dietolove.com.